What Have I Done
by Narnian Nights
Summary: I heard the sound of my sisters' sobs, but they dared not make a move. If they did it would only make me finish off this one that I had held so dear. This one that had been my rock just as I had been his...
1. Prologue

_Copyright? Um... I don't own it... never have... never will... just own this wee wittle plot_

**Authoresses Note: THE KID IS BACK! Young woman, actually. But no need to be specific. Anywho, HERE is the beginning of one of those stories I promised ya'll. And it shan't go unfinished... 'CAUSE IT'S DONE! Just has to be beta-ed and edited and all that fun stuff. So things should come along quickly, though I may wait between posting just to keep ya'll in suspense. ;) And again, I thank EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU who read TVaTJ and supported the decision of ending it as it was. But... you've waited long enough! Here it is! 343 WORDS OF PURE GOODNESS! Yup, just a prologue. *dodges all the sharp utensils* I'LL GET MORE UP SOON, I SWEAR!**

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What Have I Done

**_Prologue_**

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Now I'm trapped in the wake, of all my mistakes  
I've been under for way too long  
-12 Stones 'This Dark Day'

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Rain beating against the window clashed with the sound of thunder. A bolt of bright light flashed, causing the limp form under my sword to flinch.

Fear.

Hurt.

Failure.

All of these words invaded my thoughts and all of these words resonated in his eyes.

He had lost. For his country. For his sisters. For his brother... for _me_.

And I had won.

One blow, one push of my sword and it would go straight through his heart.

Part of me screamed out to put the sword down. But part of me tightened the grip on my sword and pressed it tighter against his chest.

His gaze met mine for an instant and I knew what was going through his mind. He wasn't afraid to die. He was afraid for his sisters. For his country. Of what would become after he was finished.

I heard the sound of my sisters' sobs, but they dared not make a move. If they did it would only make me finish off this one that I had held so dear. This one that had been my rock just as I had been his.

Suddenly... I wasn't so certain.

Memories returned. Thoughts from long ago. My deeds that I had done these past weeks. The girl that held sway over me. What I had done to hurt them. Oh, I had hurt them.

And now.... that hurt more than anything.

I looked down at the shaking form of my brother. His dark hair stuck to his forehead with sweat and blood. For a moment he opened his eyes, revealing the deep brown I knew so well, but with the pain that had been placed there.

I held his gaze, my arm beginning to shake.

He was crying. My little brother never cried. But he was crying... for his country. For his sisters. And, once again, for me. For the brother he had known that was still in here.

I felt myself grow week. From what I had become. What I had done. Oh, Aslan, what have I done?


	2. Chapter 1 The Lady From Calormen

_I don't own Narnia. I never have. I never will... only Aslan and C. do!_

**Authoresses Note: Aaaalrighty guys! Here's the FIRST chapter since the first was more of an prologue. Please review! I hope you enjoy!**

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**What Have I Done**

**Chapter 1 - The Lady From Calormen**

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_The clouds are breaking with another day  
My darkness breaks beneath the dawn  
Can you feel the sunshin?  
- Monday Morning 'Sunshine'_

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A pillow whipped across the room.

A smack.

An 'ow'.

Then the reply of the pillow being thrown back with even more force.

I couldn't help but chuckle as I ducked out of the way.

"Go 'way," came the nearly inaudible mumble.

I smirked and walked over to his window. "Rise and shine, Eddie!" I exclaimed, throwing the curtains open, allowing the bright morning sunlight to shine through.

I knew I was probably going to my death waking him up this way. And, sure enough, before I could turn back he tackled me from behind.

With a resounding 'OOF!' I struggled to remain standing. I staggered sideways, trying to support my weight and that of my beloved brother who seemed to wish to strangle me.

"Stop, you're choking me!" I exclaimed, struggling to keep from laughing.

"That's the idea!"

"Imagine what our sisters will say!"

With a huff he let go. When I turned to look at him there was a good-natured smirk on his face. He turned away before I could grab him to greet him.

"What might the cause of the High King's jubilance be on this fine blessed morn?" he asked.

I didn't miss the sarcastic tone and snorted a laugh. "No reason. Can I not be happy to great my brother?"

"Never this happy."

I rolled my eyes and turned towards the door. "Meet us in my room when you finally finish grooming, brother dearest," I called over my shoulder.

"Aye aye," was his mumbled reply.

**.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.**

"Lady Tera of Calormen."

"Another one?" muttered Edmund in my direction.

"Apparently so. Why must they keep coming?"

"Because you're so irresistible, of course."

I cast him a glare even as Lucy tried to hide a laugh.

"Shh," Susan hissed, probably trying to hide her own mirth in the process.

I was beginning to wonder how many rejections it would take to get it through these princesses' and ladies' minds that I was not interested in courtship at the moment. Even as I thought this, I heard the doors open.

But I was looking at Edmund.

His first reaction always spoke volumes. So far, no one had ever passed his inspection, for all four of us.

And if his first reaction counted for anything this time, this woman needed to be escorted off the castle grounds as quickly as possible. Out of _Narnia _as quickly as possible.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as every part of him tensed up, and as a dark and thoughtful look entered his eyes. Whatever it was, even Lucy saw it, for I heard her stifle a gasp. But when I looked forward at the young lady in front of us... I was completely baffled.

What could cause that reaction? She seemed... perfect.

She was absolutely beautiful, with piercingeyes that stayed focused on me alone as she walked forward. Her hair was a deep brown, though not quite black.

"Break eye contact," Edmund hissed before the lady was too close.

I blinked and cast a glance at him. "We'll talk later," I murmured before turning my gaze back to the lady.

I felt his eyes upon me even though I had looked away. "We most certainly will," I heard him murmur, very faintly for the girl was right before us now.

I cleared my throat quietly before speaking.

"Welcome, Lady Tera, to Narnia," said I warmly.

She curtsied, though her eyes didn't leave mine. "I feel very welcomed," she said.

She had a sweet voice, and I found I wished to hear her speak more.

"That is wonderful to hear, Lady. Pray accept an invitation to sup with us tonight," said I.

A faint smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "I shall look forward to it, High King," she said, with another curtsey.

I gave a nod, a faint smile on my face as well. "Until then, Lady Tera."

**.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.**

I was making my way towards the training grounds when I was, rather suddenly, distracted by my two youngest siblings. Forcefully, I might add.

"Walk with us, brother," said Lucy in a sweet voice. But there was a bite underneath that made me know she meant business. If her tone matched the look in Edmund's eyes... I was in trouble for something.

As soon as my bed chambers door was firmly shut, Lucy whirled on me.

"Peter Pevensie! _What _were you thinking?"

I blinked in shock. "That I was going to the training grounds?"

I truly was innocent to whatever had these two fired up. And it was only Edmund that saved me from getting a firm slap across the face, courtesy of my little sister.

He took her arm and pinned it to her side. "Lecture now... violence later," said he.

I knew my eyes widened because he looked at me and rolled his own.

"I'm pulling your leg, Peter."

"I would hope so. What have I done now?" I asked.

"Inviting that... that... _creature_ to supper!" exclaimed Lucy.

"Creature?" I asked, utterly confused now.

"Lady Tera!"

Now I understood their fury. And I felt some of my own. "She isn't a creature," I hissed.

Even Edmund backed up a few steps in shock. He seemed to watch his words carefully as he began speaking again. "Peter... she's up to something. There was something in her eyes. There was evil there."

I shook my head almost instantly. "I don't believe you." That seemed to hurt him more than anything else. Ever since we had come to Narnia, I always believed him. Why was now so different? But I stood my ground, waiting for him to say anything else.

Eventually he spoke, revulsion in his voice as he forced himself to say, "You're attracted to her."

I felt colour rise to my cheeks. "No!"

Had the situation not been so serious, I was certain he would have smirked and teasingly called me a liar. Either that or Lucy would have. But now there was nothing but a pause.

"Well.... I suppose... she is very beautiful," I finally admitted.

"And beauty is only skin deep. What lies beneath is what truly counts. And if her eyes give her away... she's up to something. Something bad," he said.

"I don't believe you," I repeated.

I saw what he was going to do too late.

He struck me across the face, his eyes furious, and concerned at the same time. "Peter, listen to me! And I suggest you listen well. Do you remember what Jadis looked like? Hmm? She was stunningly beautiful. And _too late_ I realized the evil that lay behind that beauty. I'm begging you not to make the same mistake I made... for I was young, bitter and ignorant... you aren't." I heard what he said. And I could believe it. Or at least one part of me could.

"All right," I sighed. "I'll be on my guard around her. But don't count her out yet, please, Ed."

He sucked in his breath and turned to look at Lucy, who looked as though someone had taken any energy she had right out of her. She looked utterly defeated. But there was no way Edmund could go against my onewish. Not at this point. He turned back to me and gave a very reluctant nod. "Agreed. But if she so much as looks at you the wrong way, she's to be escorted out of the castle and Narnia immediately."

I said nothing in return, but simply turned and exited the room.


	3. Chapter 2 Walking and Talking

_I own nothing. Do I look like I do?_

**Authoresses Note: Alright, guys. Here's your next chapter! :D Please review!**

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What Have I Done

**Chapter 2 - Walking and Talking**

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We used to have this figured out  
We used to breath without a doubt  
We used to have this under control  
Never thought we used to know  
But at least there's you and at least there's me  
Can we get this back to how it used to be?  
~ 'Used To' by Chris Daughtry

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Supper that night was very interesting.

Susan had bowed out, complaining of an upset stomach. Those complaints were followed by her retching. After much work on our healer's part, we found that she had come down with food poisoning.

Lucy had collapsed from sheer exhaustion after sparring with Edmund and was asleep in her room. Where this exhaustion had come from, so suddenly and completely, not even she knew.

Even Edmund seemed a trifle unwell, though I knew he wouldn't miss supper for anything. For two reasons.

One: would be to keep an eye on me.

Two: he wouldn't miss food for anything.

I knew I was being watched out of the corner of his eye as I conversed with Lady Tera, not that I minded. Let him be suspicious. It would lead to nothing, and what would eventually settle without another word. I was sure things would be better in the morning. At least I hoped so.

After supper it was decided I would escort Lady Tera to her chambers before joining my brother in the library. I knew I would probably get an earful when I arrived. And I wouldn't have beensurprised if he had the whole of the army backing him by that time.

Upon breaking supper, I offered my arm to Lady Tera. We walked from the dining hall at a leisurelypace. The longer I could keep away from Edmund's concern, which in this case would most likely lead to a lecture that might not end until noon the next day, the better. I supposed it might be jealousy. We had been very close since he came back from the White Witch. So close we were practically inseparable. But he wasn't the jealous type. Not since we had come to Narnia. What else could it be, though?

I must have been frowning because after a few moments Lady Tera asked, "Majesty? Are you unwell?"

I looked down at her to find nothing but concern. I felt sure it was genuine. For once, Edmund was wrong. "Indeed, Lady. I have many thingson my mind," I replied.

She nodded in understanding. "Of course. What with an entire country to rule." She motioned with one hand outside as we passed a balcony. "Not to mention your brother seemed rather jealous earlier. But then, you are brothers. Why would he not feel the need to keep you to himself?"

I could only nod, impressed. She seemed to see right through me. But she changed the subject.

"Are your sisters well?You mentioned they were ill."

Once again, there was genuine concern in her bright features. "They are unwell, yes. Queen Lucy has taken to her bed with exhaustion, while Queen Susan is suffering from an illness." Thereseemed no need to point out that Susan had food poisoning. After all, it was a sickness of a kind.

"I do hope they get well soon," she said after a few moments of silence.

"As do I."

As we continued on to her chambers, I was almost certain that had I not accompanied her she would have grown lost in the long halls. The sunlight was fading quickly and shadows were settling in the places. Lanterns were being lit to light the halls for those who roamed the castle at night.

Every tapestry we passed seemed to thrill Tera, and I found no regret in pausing to tell the tale of whichever one she seemed to find the most interesting.

After passing into one of the halls that held nothing but lanterns, we resorted to regular conversation.

"What is Spare Oom like?" she asked when all had fallen quiet for a few moments.

I thought hard for a moment, unsure of how to respond. I hardly remembered anything from what Tumnus said Lucy called Spare Oom upon her first entry into Narnia. What I did remember was nothing pleasant. Large fires, screaming, running, and fighting with my brother. What stuck most in my memory, though, was a woman hugging me tightly and asking me to promise to 'look after the others'.

"Nothing like things are here," I eventually replied. "There always seemed to be fires burning houses. A constant fear that something would drop from the sky at any moment to strike you dead. That world made my brother cold hearted. It made my sisters fearful."

"And what did it make you?"

The question caught me off guard, but I found I could answer it easily in front of her. "It made me angry, scared, and wishing that we could live our lives in peace."

"Do you feel peace here?"

"Most of the time. Until battle approaches. I know it's a necessary act, but..." I trailed off with a sigh.

"But so many people are killed in the process?" she suggested.

"Exactly that."

She moved closer to me, as if something discomforted her. "I do hope nothing happens to you, should battle come again."

"Do not worry for me, Lady. Aslan guards my back."

She smiled, but said nothing.

After a few moments silence, she turned the conversation to a lighter note by telling stories of her own country. Some of them made me laugh harder than I had in a long time and I wondered if she added the puns only to ammuse me.

When we reached her chambers, the sound of our laughter was echoing off the walls. She truly was wonderful company."If I may, Lady Tera, would you accompanyme on a walk on the morrow?" I asked.

Her eyes seemed to brighten considerably. "It would be an honour," replied she with a bow of her head. "Goodnight, King Peter."

And then she was gone into her rooms, as quickly into her rooms as she had entered the throne room, which now that I thought about it had been gracefully quick. There was no need to dwell on it now. I needed to get to the library, if I was to check on my sisters as well before it grew too late.

**.x.O.x.O.x..x.O.x.**

When I arrived at the library, I found that Edmund was no longer there. I was told by a page that he had gone to Lucy's room, and for a moment I was filled with unbridled fear. Had something happened? Was this exhaustion part of something more? But when I arrived there, I found that I had been gone longer than I had thought and he had come here to watch over Lucy while he waited. Susan was there as well, feeling much better than earlier. She was even managing to eat a bit of bread and fruit.

Lucy was awake, though she seemed thrice her age. Her skin was as white as the pillow her head lay upon, her eyes were dull and tired, and she was hard pressed to a moment we all forgot Lady Tera and were focused on family matters.

Edmund cast me a helpless glance and the only thing I could do was rest a hand on his shoulder while taking Lucy's hand with my free one. "Get some rest, Lu. Lion knows you need it right now," I said, squeezing her hand gently.

She gave me a weak smile before obeying the gentle command.

Susan tucked her in tightly, an act I knew Lucy would be revolted to learn about when she awoke. She, much like Edmund, now despised being coddled when unnecessary.

"We'll talk tomorrow," Edmund promised, an indication of his own tiredness.

I nodded and squeezed his shoulder before releasing him. "Sleep well, brother," I said.

He gave me a tired smile before walking towards the door.

"And pray do not dream about singing monkeys again," I called after him with a smirk.

He stopped just before exiting the door.

"What?" Susan said, furrowing her brow.

Despite how tired he was, he managed to muster up enough energy to walk back to me and cuff me over the head. As he left, I saw Susan mouth the words 'singing monkeys' in confusion. I chuckled and stood to my feet. "It's a long story. Far too long for tonight. Sweat dreams, sister. May the Lion guard you as you sleep," I said, kissing her on the forehead.

She smiled and embraced me with one arm. "And you as well, brother."


	4. Chapter 3 Truth Comes To Light

_Lessee, copyright... copyright... copyright... nope, don't own a thing._

**Authoresses Note: GOOOOOD MOOOOORNING, NARNIANS! Okay, so it isn't morning, but whatever. I am SO sorry this took so long. Confusion between me beta and I. But we settled it quickly enough... and he is awesome. :) Now, read on, my wonderful little readers... if you even read this at all. If you did, you get a cookie! *is a softy* (Not a word, Girl Whom I Know Will Read This And Go 'Softy? HA!' A.K.A, me wovery Twinny MG) **

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What Have I Done

**_Chapter 3 - Truth Comes To Light_**

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And I'm so scared of all the ways  
You take my confidence away  
With all the games you play  
-12 Stones 'Games You Play'

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A bright flash of light illuminated the room, so suddenly that I pulled the blankets over my head and groaned.

"Up and at 'em, Son of Adam!" Peter exclaimed.

I yelped in surprise as he landed heavily next to me and poked me while chanting "Get up, get up, get up."

"Shut up!" I growled, shoving him off the bed. I settled with glaring my deadliest glare, but he only grinned in reply.

"You've slept long enough. You wouldn't wish to keep Oreius waiting, would you?" he said in an overly sweet voice.

I lobbed a pillow at him and re-settled in my blankets. "Yes."

I heard his sigh, a concerned sound. "Apparently you were more tired than we thought."

"What makes you say that?"

"You've been asleep since early last night and now it's noon."

That got me up. "It's _what_?" I exclaimed.

"It's noon. Lucy herself only just got up."

"What about court, and training, and breakfast, and..."

"Susan and I handled it, you can catch up later, and it was delicious."

I could only sigh and cast him a grateful smile. "Thanks."

He smiled in return. "It was nothing. If you get up now, you can just make it to lunch," he said.

I jumped out of bed and as I rummaged through my closet, I heard him chuckle as the door closed. I found myself dawdle a bit after I was dressed for the day, just before I exited the room. Yesterday had been strange. I could only hope that things were better today. Perhaps Peter was right. Maybe I was being paranoid over this girl. But I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something wrong, something abnormal about her.

There was a looming cloud on the horizon, that much was certain.

xOxOxOxOxOxOx

"Infuriating! Absolutely infuriating!" exclaimed Susan, the echoes of disgust evident in her angry features.

"She's provoking," Lucy said, leaning against my bed post.

"To all of us but Peter," I added.

"And that's just the thing. Peter's completely taken with her." Susan sighed, taking a seat near me on the edge of the bed.

"He's looking at her face. Not what's really inside her," I said placing a hand on her shoulder.

"He's probably looking at something else too..." muttered Lucy.

"Lucy!" Susan exclaimed.

"You know it's true!"

Susan deflated, a sigh escaping her. "I know. And that makes it all worse. He's never been this way before. It's almost like..." she trailed off, shaking her head.

"Like he's enchanted?" Lucy was the one to say what we were all thinking.

"Exactly," Susan sighed.

Something inside me felt suddenly uncertain. That really couldn't be it... could it? No. Not my brother... not Peter.

"Ed?"

My head snapped up at the sound of Susan's concerned voice. "We shouldn't talk of this tonight," I said, standing abruptly.

Both of my sisters looked filled the room as I stood with my back to them, struggling to piece together what all of this might mean. Who was this girl? Most importantly, what did she intend to do? Was she trying to get close to him so that she could murder him when they were alone? For the time being, that was the best I could assume. And for the sake of everything that I hold dear, I would _not _let this... creature kill my brother, if indeed that was what she intendedto do.

I heard light footsteps come up behind me. Lucy was approaching me cautiously... very cautiously.

I glanced at her sideways. "I'm not the one to be feared, Lucy. You know I wouldn't hurt you. But whatever this girl is, she can't be up to anything good."

"I know," she said in a quiet voice.

Turning so I could get a good glimpse of both of my sisters, I saw what they really were, what so many people missed. They were hardly old enough to be women, though quite past the age of being a little girl. At this moment, Lucy seemed quite smaller, though she always did when confronted with something such as this. I knew they saw me in the same way.

Letting my thoughts lead me, I sat cloe between the two of them. Together, we would conquer this. When the time came. But for now, all we could do was stay in a tight bunch on the edge of my bed.

**.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.**

The next morning I awoke to a fierce shake. I swatted at whoever it was in an effort to return to sleep.

"Edmund! Wake up! Susan's sick!" Lucy exclaimed.

If ever there was a way to quickly wake me up, it was one of my siblings in Aslan help the person who did, or lied about it. I was up in an instant. Maybe not so coherent, but enough to see that my older sister truly was feeling unwell.

She could hardly move for a sore stomach and every word we spoke she winced from the ache in her head. The light couldn't have been helping her,so Lucy rushed to close the curtains even as I helped Susan to sit up slightly. When Lucy returned to my side I knew we would need help. "Stay with her. I'm going to find a healer," I whispered, so as to not make my elder sisters head ache worse.

Lucy didn't even glance at me. I knew she wouldn't leave Susan's side for anything.

Upon exiting the room I ran to the infirmary. "Retus!" I called, knocking on the door.

When it opened the elderly faun looked confused and concerned at the same time. "King Edmund?" he replied with a bow of his head.

"Please come to my chambers. My sisters are there and Queen Susan is very ill. We don't know what's wrong," I said in a hurry.

"At once, sire!" he exclaimed. That good faun never missed a second. He was gone towards my chambers even before I was. But I had another stop to make. Half way to Peter's chambers, I stopped abruptly.

Someone was following me.

I didn't so much hear it as sense it. Instinctively, my right hand crossed over to grip my sword, but in dismay I found it wasn't there. In normal circumstances I would have noticed that I was still in what I had worn yesterday, having never changed the night before. But now I was focused on whatever was behind me... and the fact I was weaponless.

When I turned around I was only half surprised to find Lady Tera standing in the hall, but a few paces away. "How might your sister be, on this beautiful morning?" Her voice was bright, yes, but there was something malicious about it as well.

"What have you done to her?" I hissed. She was treading on thin ice by teasing me in such a way.

"Me?" Her feigned shock didn't go unnoticed "Why would you suspect me?"

"Because I know you're up to something."

She gave a little laugh. "You're brother's right. You are very paranoid."

I couldn't help but take a step back. "My brother would say nothing of the sort!"

"Oh, but he did. And he also called you, what was that other thing... oh, yes... a 'traitor'." She spoke spitefully, but somehow I knew she was telling the truth. Peter _had _said it, whether he meant it or not.

"Ed?"

Speaking of Peter.

I turned around to come face to face with him.

When I glanced back I saw that Lady Tera was no longer there. "Susan's ill... just so you know. Now I'll leave so you won't have to speak to a traitor." I saw the shock on his face even as I turned and began walking to my bed chambers.

I also heard him call after me a moment later but I didn't stop. Right now, my sisters needed me.


	5. Chapter 4 Confrontation

_Lessee. Copyright? *flips threw file folders looking very business-like* ... *tosses them out a window* Nope, don't own a thing. So don't sue._

**Authoresses Note: It's not much... but it's my present for the first night of Hanuka. So... *sings* Happy Hanukaaa... **

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What Have I Done

**_Chapter 4 - Confrontation_**

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_This anger changes me, it effects the way I see  
Effects every part of me, and makes you my enemy  
But when it falls apart, it's like a brand new start  
And I can't remember why, I ripped everything apart  
-Thousand Foot Krutch 'My Own Enemy'_

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"Susan's ill.... just so you know. Now I'll leave so you won't have to speak to a traitor."

When Edmund walked away, I wasn't sure what to do. How did he know I had said that? It had been a mistake. I certainly hadn't meant it. I had just been so angry with him and Lucy for degrading Tera. That wasn't an excuse, though. I shouldn't have said it at all. I wasn't even sure where it had come from. Even I knew it wasn't like me to say something so rash. And however he had found out, Edmund was now hurt. On top of that, Susan was sick.

Whatever was going on would have to wait. There was much to do today, of that I was certain. I would confront my siblings later.

**.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.**

Confrontation came that night, and in full force. I found each of my siblings in Susan's chambers, just where I had been told they would be. They were still awake, though Susan was on the very fine line between dozing off and sleep.

Lucy sat in a chair beside her bed, a book being ignored in her lap, while Edmund sat in the window seat. His gaze fell on me as I entered the room and he quickly turned his gaze back out the window.

What could I say? It seemed that there was nothing. From the expressions on my sisters' faces, he had not told them. I couldn't suppress a sigh as I walked towards him.

"How did you find out?" I asked. I was surprised to hear that my voice came out raspy.

He didn't look at me, but I saw the form of a glare. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." he replied tersely.

"Try me."

After a few moments silence, he turned his gaze to me. "Lady Tera." For a split second I was angry. Then anger turn to disbelief. But I couldn't hurt him a second time and say I didn't believe him. Apparently, though, he saw that for himself. He returned his gaze out the window with a shake of his head. "You don't know what you're doing, Peter."

I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't understand what he was saying, so how could I reply? "What?"

"You don't know what you're doing," he repeated.

"What do you..."

"I'm talking about Lady Tera, Peter! The girl that is changing your mind! And don't you think it's kind of strange that when she comes in the picture, Lucy collapses from exhaustion and Susan gets so sick she can't move or even _think_ straight? I know I do! And you can bet your stubborn neck that I am going to prove to you just what she is!"

Now I stood from my own anger. "Oh, and what's that?" I mocked.

"I'm not entirely sure yet. But I wouldn't be surprised if she were a Fell Beast in disguise!"

And that was the last straw for me. I struck him across the face, probably harder than he had struck me the day before, though for obviously different reasons. I heard Susan's gasp, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Lucy rise to her feet even as Edmund staggered back a few steps in shock. His right hand flew to his cheek and I knew he still wasn't quite certain of what has just happened.

Now I wasn't so caring about how hurt he was. In fact, I only wished for him to hurt more. I settled a deadly glare upon him and when he looked at me it seemed as though I snapped back to reality. It was my turn to stagger backwards.

I couldn't have struck him. No, I couldn't have laid a hand to him in such a way. Not Edmund. Not my little brother.

We stared at each other in shock for a while, our sisters looking on in waiting. His expression changed from one of shock to concern when I shook my head and backed away further.

"Why are you doing this?" he whispered.

I couldn't speak. Not even if I could think of something to say. He took a step towards me, but I backed away. "No! Don't come any closer." My voice shook with fear that I might strike him again.

He had no such fear, only wishing to calm me down and get to the bottom of all this. Truth be told, that was all I wanted as well. But something held me back. A thin line that made me want to stay ignorant to whatever the real facts were.

"Peter, please," Edmund implored in a voice that sounded much younger than the age he truly was. It revealed just how fearful he was of losing everything he loved to what was building in me.

I was fighting a losing battle. Or maybe I was winning. With a faint gasp I landed heavily in the chair behind me. Despite himself and the situation, Edmund rushed forward and knelt in front of me. I refused to meet his gaze for a few moments, and when I finally did meet those dark eyes I saw that they were filled with unshed tears. He only wished to help. Looking beyond him at my sisters, I could see that was all they wished for too.

But what could be done? What was wrong? That was something we had yet to figure out. And it was something we needed to figure out quickly. Looking back at my brother, I noticed the red mark on his cheek from where I had struck him. "I'm so sorry."

The quiet statement came out as more of a whimper as I looked to the ground.

"Don't worry. We'll figure all of this out," he tried to reassure me.

But somehow I knew it was not going to be an easy journey, nor a painless one.


	6. Chapter 5 Conversations

_Copyright.... okay, do I seriously look like I own anything but the pajamas I'm wearing?! Seriously, GAH... yeah, I don't own anything._

**Authoresses Note: *shuffles in looking guilty* I know, it's been a while since I posted. But both my beta and I have been busy. Next chapter will be up sooner, I hope. So please don't kill me! Many thanks to my beta GeoffreyF for putting up with me and my grammar, spelling, and bad writing. **

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What Have You Done

**_Chapter 5 - Conversations_**

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Take me one more round, you're messing me up but I'm still here  
One more round, I'll come out swinging  
One more round, I'm telling you now I'm not gonna lose it  
I have never won a battle on my own, I find hope believing  
God is for me, who can bring me down  
-Barlow Girl 'One More Round'

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Peter had ordered me to go back to bed for a while longer after breakfast. He was worried that I had caught what Susan had, that I could tell. Of course I wasn't ill. I hadn't gotten much sleep these past few nights, due to studying. Most of my nights were spent in the library learning what I could on every type of fell beast there could and might be. My main focus seemed to be on hags and wer-wolves. They seemed to be the only two that could turn into a human or enchant someone.

By now I was almost certain she was a hag, or either someone who had been caught by a hag and put up to this. And I was most assured that Aslan himself was steering me towards this. Towards the answer and the solution.

But what was the solution? Unless we could convince Peter of what she was, there was not a chance in this world that we could get her to leave. I was becoming increasingly worried that she might leave and invite Peter to come with her. Though whatever her focus was, it didn't seem to be with Peter alone.

At breakfast I had noticed she watched me closely, taking in every move I made, taking in every word I said. She knew I was studying her, so she was studying me. It had seemed to be her intellect against mine, something that my sisters picked up on easily and backed me silently. I gave Tera as little ammunition against me than I could, and gave falsely at best.

Eventually all conversation between the others had ceased, and it was only us talking. I knew ever word she said was a lie. Lion knows I had lied enough in my past to tell when someone else was fibbing.

Peter had been oblivious to it all. To him it seemed like we were trying to get to know each other. When he walked from the dining hall, Susan went with him but Lucy lingered with me should I need help of any kind, be it in self defence or with words.

And when he left, that's when things truly got interesting.

**.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.**

_Witty... I suppose that Lion gave him a fitting title after all. But that is no matter. I will whittle him down until he is nothing. I will delve into the subjects uncomfortable to him and his sister. I _will_ get the information I need..._

**.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.**

"So, _King_ Edmund, I have heard that when you first entered Narnia you meet an interesting being."

I knew what she was doing. She was trying to get me on the defence, trying to get me to react or give an answer that would be fatal in the long run. But I would give her no satisfaction.

"Indeed," I replied smoothly.

Without a single glance and with that one word I knew Lucy would remain as I would: outwardly emotionless.

Lady Tera seemed taken aback for a moment by my simple answer. But she quickly recovered. "And whom did you meet?" she asked.

"The White Witch."

My reply was just as before. It was lucky for me that I had come to terms with this.

"She... _enchanted_ you, didn't she?"

"She did, yes."

Now I just seemed to frustrate her.

"And because of that you betrayed your family?"

"If you wish to think of it that way, yes, I suppose so."

"And what other way would there be?"

"Selfishness."

**.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.**

_That stubborn little beast! What to say, what to say? I suppose I will just have to bring up the harsher memories of his time with my Queen. Oh yes... that should do perfectly..._

**.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.**

"And what all happened while you were under her control?"

Her voice was innocent, but I had a feeling that she already knew all that had happened. She was trying to make me uncomfortable. I wouldn't let this subject break me, not again.

"I admit I suffered many abuses at Jadis's hands."

"And you believe you deserved them?"

"Years ago, I did."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see this topic was making Lucy uncomfortable. She and Peter alone knew all that had happened. Though she wasn't quite so uncomfortable to squirm or show , I knew her better than this so-called Lady did. Should she say one wrong thing, Lucy would burst. That being the thing that Lady Tera wished for, I reached over and placed my hand over Lucy's.

"She did many things to you, did she not? And you were so young. It wasn't right."

Her voice was too sweet for me to believe she truly felt sorry for me.

"Indeed," I said simply, for the second time.

Livid would be an understatement for how she looked now...

**.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.**

_NO! I will not lose this battle! I refuse! There must be something... And there is. Of something he has yet to find out. He shall know soon..._

**.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.**

"Well, treachery does not go unpunished for..." she began. "'Tis a good thing the Lion you so worship was there."

Many things confused me at once. For one, she had not said Aslan's name, but instead used evasion . Also, I knew it was a good thing he had been there. He's the one who sent the scouting party to rescue me just in time, though there seemed to be a hidden meaning under her words. And lastly, the way Lucy tensed up as she said that seemed to say she knew whatever Lady Tera was driving at.

"Aye, it was," I said to mask my confusion.

She gave a light laugh. "Of course, though, he gave his life uselessly for yours..."

Lucy stood abruptly. "I suggest you close your mouth, you... you creature! What Aslan did is none of your concern! And it wasn't 'useless'. It was perfectly justified," she hissed.

Even Lady Tera seemed to notice she had pushed toofar. Had Lucy been holding her dagger or her sword, there would have been no head left on the Lady's body.

But Lucy's words left me completely baffled. For me. Useless. Worthwhile.

When Lucy turned to me she seemed to deflate. "Come, brother. We must speak privately."

**.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.**

So now I walked the halls silently hours later, wondering. Now that I knew what had happened, I could see what she meant by useless. Or at least, I would have. A few years ago I would have agreed.

But I could only think on this for so long. If I were to dwell on it, I would surely break down. And at the moment, that was nothing I could not do. I needed every bit of myself to discover what the solution to this was.

On one hand, we could try and kill her. But if this was somehow an innocent girl who could be freed, then we couldn't risk that.

"Thinking of something?"

I stopped dead in my tracks at the familiar overly honeyed-sweet voice. "What do you want?" I sighed, turning to her.

"I just came to see if you were well," she replied, moving a few steps nearer.

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you," I said, attempting to push past her.

"Come now, my king, I was only trying to tell you what your sisters and brother wouldn't," she said, reaching out a hand to keep me in place.

Now she was right up against me. I would have backed away, were I not already backed against a wall.

"That was their own choice to make. And if you would, take a few steps away, please," I replied politely.

Her voice lowered considerably at the sound of footsteps. "And why would I do that?"

I glared. "Because..."

Suddenly the positions were changed, but not for the better. Against my will I found myself being kissed. And just as quickly as it had happened, I was shoved away.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

The question came from three mouths. One from the mouth of me, the other from the mouth of Tera, and the other from the mouth of none other than Peter.

I realized much too late the trap I had fallen into in talking to her at all. I also realized with a sinking heart that Peter would never listen to my side of the story.

So as I began walking, I decided to answer his question. "Being used."

I heard Lady Tera's whimper and I knew that soon the story would be exaggerated.

And that my brother would believe every word.


	7. Chapter 6 Damage Done

_Copyright. Nope, don't own a thing._

**Authoresses Note: Just to let you know, I haven't forgotten about this story. Next chapter will, hopefully, be sooner. **

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What Have I Done

_**Chapter 6 - Damage Done**_

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And I know, all I know is that the end's beginning

_Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart  
__-Trading Yesterday 'Shattered'_

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I couldn't believe it. I couldn't, really.

Tera told me that Edmund had been watching her all day. That much I _could_ believe, though not quite as she meant it. She had then said that he had cornered her in the hallway and that she feared what would have happened had I not arrived in time.

I wandered the halls until I came to his room. I had to know what his side of the story was. I had to hear the truth. And I _would_ believe him.

Quietly, unsure, I knocked on his door. There was a pause before it opened.

His face seemed to fall when he saw it was me. "What do you want? Come to execute me for inappropriate behaviour?" He turned and re-entered the room, leaving the door open for me to enter on my own.

"No. I would never do that," I replied, walking in after him, and closing the door behind me.

He sat down on the edge of his bed and looked at me expectantly. "Well... what is it then?" he said in a tone that was anything but patient. Apparently he had lost all patience in me a little less than a week ago.

I couldn't blame him.

With a sigh, I sat beside him. "I'm sorry. I know I haven't been... myself this past week. But I can't help it. It's almost as if I can't control myself. And I couldn't bear to hurt you or Susan or Lucy."

A long pause followed and I knew he was thinking and guarding his words.

Eventually a sigh escaped him and he glanced sideways at me. "I know that. So do Susan and Lucy. And we're trying to work this through... to help you. We just want _you _back."

"I'm still here, Ed. I always will be. But... whatever this is needs to be got rid of first."

"That's what we're trying to help with."

There was another pause, though not quite so uncomfortable now that we had broken a wall or two down. I just hoped they stayed down.

"So what did you really come here for?" he asked after a few moments.

"The truth," I replied simply.

He nodded at me. "There's not much to tell, really. It wasn't even five minutes before you came around the corner that she cornered me. We spoke briefly. She moved in close and I tried to move but she had me pinned. I heard footsteps and then before I even knew it she had pulled me against her, kissed me" - here he paused and shuddered - "and pushed me away. And I suppose that's what you saw."

For an instant, I believed him. I truly did. But then something within me snapped. I still believed him.... but I was angry. Or perhaps it wasn't even me. I stood abruptly and glared down at him. "You're lying," I hissed.

He noticed the change and stood cautiously just after I did. "Peter, calm down. You know I'm not," he said,keeping a safe distance between us.

I took a step towards him, now shaking with anger. "I won't calm down until you admit what you did!" I snarled.

Now he just looked scared. "Peter, stop it. Please."

I could kill him in this instant. We were in his room that had deep walls you could barely hear anything through. I could kill him before anyone knew. And it seemed that that was exactly what I wanted to do. I took another step towards him. "Admit it!" I growled, towering over him.

"But I wasn't!" he exclaimed.

I grabbed him around the throat with both hands. "You little liar. I suppose if you've been a liar once you always will be," I hissed.

"Stop it!" he gasped,trying to escape my grasp.

But my hold around his throat only tightened.

Even if he would admit he had lied, if only just to live, he had no chance now. He couldn't speak for lack of oxygen.

He was turning various shades of colourright before my horrified struggled in vain, knocking a chair over in the process. He was just about out of air. He was almost dead, murdered by my own hands, when I suddenly snapped out of whatever frenzy had worked itself upon me.

I released him and staggered back a few steps even as he sunk down the wall gasping to return air to his lungs. The only sound in the room for minutes was the sound of his deep gasps and coughs.

My brother. I had just nearly killed my _brother_. With my bare hands. Simply out of hate. Or was it hate? Was it even really me? If I could do this, there wasn't a telling of what else I might do.

"Peter?" I heard him rasp.

I finally turned my gaze to him and saw that he was in the corner, struggling to remain conscious. I could see that he desperately needed help, but at the same time I was afraid to go near him, should the anger spark ablaze again. But now I simply felt relief that whatever this was hadn't fully overtaken me. That my brother was still alive.

I rushed to his side and hauled him to his feet, steadying most of his weight onto my own. When he was safely in bed, still panting only slightly, he turned his gaze up to me. I knew it hurt him just as much to see me in the state as it would have been had I run him through with a sword or the pain that he was most likely feeling in his lungs right now. I ran my fingers through his short dark hair in a fathering gesture that he needed just as much as I did at the moment.

A sob escaped me, causing me to visibly shake. "I'm so sorry, Ed," I whispered.

He reached one hand up to grasp my own. "It's not your fault, Peter." His voice was still hoarse and I was sure that he probably wouldn't be able to speak at all tomorrow. And all because of me. All because of anger.

Whatever this was inside of me. It would take over eventually, I realized. And then I _would_ kill him. Along with my sisters. And, Lion's Mane, I don't even want to think of what will happen to Narnia! This couldn't happen. And I wouldn't let it. I would find a solution.

And I would finish this off, be the ending good or bad for me. As I watched my brother fall asleep, the answer seemed to come so simply. So easily. I could only hope I would have the strength to follow it through.

Mighty Aslan, _what_ have I done?


	8. Chapter 7 The End Is Beginning

_**Copyright. I own my cat and my books. That's it. SO DON'T SUE!!!!**_

**Authoresses Note: Sooner update, ya'll think? It's a wee bit longer, so please review! Busy week ahead, though. Just a warning. **

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What Have I Done

_**Chapter 7 - The End Is Beginning**_

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It's just beneath the skin  
I must confess that I feel like a monster  
-Skillet 'Monster'

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The next day was a long one.

When I stepped into the Dining Hall the next morning, Susan and Lucy were on either side of Edmund. One of the first things I noticed was that Edmund seemed a bit flustered.

I cleared my throat to let them know I was there. Susan did not look up. But the glare Lucy cast my way made me wish I could crawl under a rock.

"How could you?" she hissed.

Edmund put a hand on her arm, preventing her from hitting me.

"It's not completely his fault."

His voice cracked just as I knew it would. He barely had any voice at all. A painful reminder of what I had nearly done to him the night before.

I finally forced myself to move closer, and take my normal seat. I noticed Tera was not here and felt strangely comforted by that fact.

It was Susan who spoke first.

"Start from the beginning," she said, finally looking at me.

"Did he tell you why I came to his room to begin with?" I asked.

Susan and Lucy's nods were my reply.

"I believed him. I came to tell him that I was considering sending Tera away. But then... something snapped. I could not control myself. But I would have given anything to. Luckily, this... anger broke before... before it was too late."

When they remained silent, I stared down at my hands.

Finally, Lucy moved closer to me, putting a hand on my arm. "What was it that you felt, Peter? It could not have been only anger. You have never been like that."

I took her small hand in my own and squeezed it lightly. "I don't know, Lu. I only know I pray to the Lion that it does not happen again."

She nodded in reply; whatever anger she had felt towards me when I first walked in fading away. It always was hard for her to be angry at one of us for too long, no matter what the situation was.

"Come now. Let us eat before the food gets cold. We have a long day ahead of us," Susan said, ever the practical one.

**X.x.o.O.o.x.X.o.O.o.x.X**

After breakfast and the few dutiesI had, I found myself roaming around the castle. I felt no anger whatsoever. If anything, I felt at peace.

But I knew it was still there. Building, growing, feeding off everything inside of me.

Every timeI passed Edmund he would cast me a weak smile to show he was feeling all right, albeit a little tired.

Half way through the day I was struck with an idea. It was a solution to this entire problem.

Throughout the day I thought on it. And as I did, it became clear that it was the only answer.

Around noon, I saw no sign of Tera or my siblings and that startled me.

If she had left, I could considerthat a good thing. But that notion was banished when I asked the stable handif she and her guards had left. The answer was a definite 'no' and I could only wonder where she was.

Instantly, I sought for my siblings.

I found Lucy on the training grounds talking with a centaur captain. She had yet to master archery and I knew this one teacher expected to make her one before she turned seventeen. I had no doubt that he would.

I only interruptedfor a moment to ask Lucy if she had seen Susan, Edmund, or even Tera.

At the mention of Tera she glared at me, but after giving my reasons she looked thoughtful then shook her head ruefully.

"She wasn't even there at breakfast," she reminded me.

I nodded in remembrance, sighing as I ran my hands through my only made me more alarmed as to what she might be up to.

Susan was easily found in the gardens with about a dozen giggling dryads. I nodded with a smile towards the ladies, making a younger dryad hide behind her mother from shyness. I suppresseda chuckle as I neared Susan.

I cleared my throat and gave her a look that she would know I meant I needed to speak to her privately.

She raised an eyebrow at me but complied by standing to her feet. "Excuse me. I need to speak to my brother for a moment."

I held out my arm to her and she took hold, walking beside me. She waited until we were a safe distance away before speaking.

"Is there a problem, brother?"

"It is not really a problem, but have you seen Edmund? Or Lady Tera?"

She cast me the faintest of glares. "Peter..."

"I asked Lucy, but she only knew where you were. I was hoping you would know where at least Edmund is. Lady Tera has not been seen all day and that is beginning to worry me."

She was silent for a moment and when she spoke again her tone was thoughtful.

"Edmund told me he would be in the library most of the day as an excuse so he would not have to speak to anyone. He does not want anyone to find out what is going on in our personal lives."

I let out a sigh of relief. It seemed we were all on the same page then. "I assume he is trying to find out what is wrong with me as well."

Her grip on my arm tightened slightly. "There is nothing else he would be searching for. And you know Ed would never waste time in a library."

A little smile came to my face. "Indeed, he would not. If he did, I would wonder about his health."

She smirked slightly, making me realize just how much Ed took after her.

We walked in comfortable silence for a few moments. My thoughts couldn't have been darker as I mused what had happened the night before. I had nearly killed my brother with my bare hands, and he seemed to have forgiven me far too easily. Even after I had done what I had, he still trusted me as would put his trust in our father. Before I could stop it, a sigh escaped me.

Susan looked at me, concerned. "Peter? What's wrong?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Just... thinking."

She seemed to catch my meaning and a soft smile came across her face. "He's forgiven you, brother. You need not worry about something you can not control. And as he has forgiven you, you need to forgive yourself."

I thought over her words for a moment. She was right, but I was not quite ready to face forgiving myself. By the Lion, if this is how Edmund felt after his return from the White Witch, it is no wonder that he tried to isolate himself from us for a month afterwards.

But I knew I needed to focus on the present, and my sister was still waiting for me to say something, anything that would reassure her that I would not take an turn as Edmund had.

I gave her a little smile and reached my hand to squeeze hers. "Thank you, Su."

Her smile widened a little in return. "Now, go on and make sure our brother is still in the library as he said he would be. Lion knows he can get himself to any kind of trouble, even when he is not looking for it.

I chuckled and squeezed her hand once more before returning her to her ladie's care.

When I came to the library, I found Edmund in his favourite corner, sitting in an armchair sideways with an open book in his lap, sound asleep. I was sorely tempted to play some kind of trick, or carry him up to his room so he could get some proper sleep. But the former would just earn me a cranky little brother, and most likely a prank in return, while the latter would just wake him up when he needed the rest. Even as I considered it, though, he shifted in his sleep and winced. Sleeping in the chair as he was would do him no good.

After helping him back to his room I came back to my own. For a few moments, I paced, my mind awhirl with what needed to done, what could be done, and what should not be done. When my legs grew tired, I sat on the edge of my bed. But sitting only made me agitated, so I stood and resumed my pacing. After I noticed my rug was beginning to gain the pattern of my pacing, I walked over to the window. I had been deep in thought for a while now, for the sun was dipping below the horizon.

With a frustrated sigh, I turned back to the darkening room and lit a candle. It cast little light, and the shadows grew deeper as the sunshine slowly faded into darkness. I wasn't even quite sure why this was taking such a toll on me, or why it was so hard to form a proper thought of turning against Lady Tera, but I was beginning to see I should have turned her away from the begining. Whatever this was had to do with her.

I stopped pacing as the light of the candle glinted off something. I walked closer to what had shone, and realized it was a dagger, just barely pulled out of its sheath. I picked it up and drew it fully. It shone with a fatally beautiful glow as I ran my finger down the flat edge of the blade. I had never seen this dagger before, and I could only wonder how it got here.

As the last rays of light faded from the room, I sat on the edge of my bed, staring down at the now sheathed dagger in my hands. My thoughts weren't as muddled when they shifted to another, darker subject. But a knock at my door interupted such a thought just after it began.

I glanced up as the door opened a crack and Edmund poked his head in. When I saw it was him, I gave a little motion for him to come in. He did so hesitantly, glancing at the sheathed knife upon my knee. But he came forward as I gave him a weak smile.

He took a seat beside me, glancing over my tired appearance. "You missed supper."

I winced inwardly to hear how his voice cracked. "I've been thinking."

He raised an eyebrow in curiousity. "About what?"

I paused, shifting in place. How could I even begin to explain the solution that had begun to plague me. "Ending this," I finally replied.

"You are sending Lady Tera home?"

"No," I replied, looking away from him. "But you will have to."

His eyes widened slightly in faint alarm. "Me? Why?"

I did not look at him as I unsheathed the dagger. "Hold out your hand."

He seemed hesitant and he paused before shakily holding out his hand. I put the dagger in his hand and closed his fingers around it before looking at him again. I let go of his grip around the dagger as I said, "Now... run it through my heart."

His eyes widened as wide as I had ever seen them go and the dagger fell from his hand in his shock. "You must be mad if you think I am going to do anything of the sort!"

"Then I'll do it myself," I returned, bending over to snatch the dagger up from where it had fallen.

He grabbed my shoulder, stopping me from picking up the dagger. "_And_ you must be mad if you think I'm going to let _you_ do anything of the sort."

"It's not your decision, Edmund!"

"Neither is it yours," he returned, in the calm voice that I usually listened to without protest.

"I have to do this!" I snapped, standing to pace once more.

He gave a short humourless laugh. "Over my dead body."

"Don't you see? That's what _will_ happen if I don't do this! I'll end up killing _you_!"

"Then so be it."

"And then what of Susan and Lucy? What of them? And Narnia? What would happen after you were finished?"

"You'd find some way to break this....this enchantment, if that's what it is. But comitting suicide _isn't_ it."

"But what if this is the only way? Ed, this might be the only way to save Narnia from an unseen evil that is coming through me. Through Tera."

"And yet you won't do anything of the sort," he said assertively.

"Yes I will."

"No you will not."

"I say again, it is not your decision," I snapped.

"And so say I again, that it is not yours either!"

"I _am_ going to do this whether you like it or _NOT_!"

"What's all the shouting?"

Edmund and I turned at the sound of Susan's nervous, confused voice.

"Do you want to know what the solution he came up with is?" Edmund demanded.

So shocked by our sudden argument and Edmund's question, Lucy could only nod in only stood, glancing between us in confusion and worry.

Edmund yanked up the dagger. "He wants to kill himself!"

Lucy turned a frightful shade of white, her gaze turning away from Edmund to me. "But you wouldn't..." she whispered.

Susan seemed frozen, her mouth hanging slightly open as she looked at me with shock, confusion and now hurt atop that.

I turned away from each of them. I could feel it. It was coming. If I didn't do something quickly, it would be all over. There might be no stopping it this time.

They all turned deadly quiet as my right hand reach over to rest on my sword hilt.

It was time.

And only the strength of my brother would conquer this now. It was me or him.

"Peter...?" Edmund asked in a hesitant voice.

The look on my face must have given me away as I turned to face him, for he unsheathed hissword. The real me was gone, buried in here, screaming to be let free so this wouldn't happen.

And it was all because of a lady named Tera.


	9. Chapter 8 Battle Between Brothers

_**Copyright.... *flips through files* Mmm... nope *throws files* Don't own a thing. **_

**Authoresses Note: Okay, so we're nearing the end! I can not promise the next chapter will be up SOON, because my beta is in college and I'm graduating so we're both rather busy at the moment. And it's getting to the point where even when I have free time my mind's so 'blaaaaaah' that I can't FOCUS. So I promise, peeps, I will get this up as soon as I possibly possible can!**

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What Have I Done

_**Chapter 8 - Battle Between Brothers**_

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The fight inside is coursing through my veins

_- Red 'Fight Inside'_

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I attacked before he even knew what was happening.

I heard the storm outside intensify as he struggled to defend himself. This enchantment that drove me onwards was breaking me on the inside. This was my little brother I was fighting. This was my _baby_ brother, Lion help me if he could hear my thoughts, who I would kill in a heart beat if I was given the opportunity.

I only hoped that opportunity never came and that he was the one that triumphed over me.

Unfortunantly, there was little chance of that, something we both knew well. Out of the two of us, I was the better swordsman. And right now, I truly regretted that fact.

I had no desire to kill my brother, but I was driven onward to fight. To prevail.

There was a sudden break in our fight as Lucy suddenly rushed forward.

Seeing this out of the corner of his eye, Edmund used his last strike to toss his sword into his left hand, spin, and hook his right arm through Lucy's, effectively putting himself between her and I.

Lucy opened her mouth to protest but the intensity of his stare gave her pause.

What passed between them, I didn't know. I never did. There were moments when my younger siblings simply understood each other. Much like Susan and I.

I refused to meet Susan's gaze as Edmund quickly and silently sent whatever message he was trying to give.

"Peter...?" Susan ventured. She began to step towards me but I quickly aimed the sword at her.

Or was that really me?

She quickly stopped the motion and held a hand up. "Peter, it's me. I'm not your enemy," she said, gently.

I froze. Hesitated.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edmund release Lucy and drop a final kiss to the top of her head.

She walked back to Susan's side with an expression I couldn't quite place. It seemed almost like fear, anxiety, reluctance, and the most surprising, anger all wrapped tightly into one emotion.

With that, Edmund and I faced each other again.

There was something more in his gaze this time. There had been determination before, yes, but now there was _power_.

I had only seen that look in his eye once before, and it nearly made me quiver in my spot.

The man this gaze had been unleashed upon before had not lasted very long at all.

The only difference in this fight, was that Edmund didn't intend to kill me, but free me from the prison in my mind.

Instead of surrendering and begging for forgiveness right then, I snarled at him. "Come now, brother dearest. Let us finish this."

And the fight resumed.

I saw the plan already.

Tera wished to only start with destroying my brother. Next would come my sisters. She would then force me into marraige. Then all of Narnia would be ruined. It would be worse for me, I thought. I would still be here. I could still think. But I would not be able to control myself. I had fallen too far down into this. And now I was paying for it.

My _brother_ was paying for it.

We hadn't been fighting long and already he was beginning to pant from exertion. He wouldn't last long at all.

"Peter! Please! You don't know what you're doing!" Susan exclaimed from the side.

Lucy had remained mostly silent through out the match, though ever now and again she would call out pleads or possibly even tips for Edmund that he followed directly.

I drew the first blood, nicking his upper left shoulder only enough to make him wince, but not slow. I heard Lucy called his name, for him to duck, and it was quite a good thing he listened for he would have been headless had he not.

While closer to the ground, he reached out to trip me. I staggered, but didn't fall. It was enough to give him time to gain his footing and attack in earnest.

It was now me that was on the defense. I looked into his face and saw what I did not have.

Aslan.

He had the Lion on his side. I had, most likely, a hag on mine. When putting the two against each other, there was no comparison. But I was spurred to put on a mighty effort, and eventually I began gaining the upper hand. Now we were both covered in sweat and we both had a fair amount of bruises and cuts.

Our sisters stood nearby, though not too close, watching in anticipation. Neither of us could go on like this forever, and we wouldn't. It would end. And it soon did.

Somehow I had gained a lucky shot and tripped him. He now lay on the ground, staring up at me with open pain.

He was waiting for me to deal the death blow.

"Edmund!" exclaimed Susan with a sob.

"No!" cried Lucy.

And then my sword was at the ready-to kill him.

I could have finished him in that same movement, but I didn't. The part of me that was really still there was fighting for him. It was a losing battle. The only sound that filled the room was that of panting and sobbing.

Outside I heard the storm reach its highest level. But I also heard the faint growl I had learnt to know and obey.

_He_ was reaching out to me, helping this part of me that was still here to push to the surface. He was giving me the real answer to what we needed to do.

_'Great Lion, help us...' _

At once the growl became a comforting purr. _"I am here..."_

And that was all the answer I needed to snap out of this.

With a growl of my own that probably made my brother think he was already dead I stepped back and sheathed my sword.

"Not today, Tera!" I yelled at the wall.

I knew she wasn't there, but it was better than yelling at my siblings. The anger and hatred was still there, but suddenly directed at a new target. I knew there was most likely still more temptation to come, but I no longer feared giving in to it.

Turning back to my brother I knelt beside him and helped him to sit up. He seemed to realisehe had barely just escaped with his life, and as a result was rather shaken.

"Are you all right?" I asked in a quiet voice.

"Yes... yes, I think so, at least. What about you?" he replied.

"I've never felt better," I said despite the fact that the match had left me many bruises and cuts that Edmund and I would most likely brag about later on.

Seeing the my meaning he launched himself into my arms. Him hugging _me_. That was certainly a change.

Despite my surprise, I returned the embrace tightly.

With shouts of joy, Susan and Lucy joined our tight knot and soon we were all just a bundle on my carpet. I couldn't hold them tight nor long enough. But we soon had to release our holds of each other.

This wasn't over yet, but I intended it to be before the clock struck midnight.

Standing to my feet, helping my siblings in the process, I racked my brain for how to pull this off.

We could go into Tera's rooms and kill her, simple as that. But then we'd be over-run with Calormenes.

Well, we would simply have to get Tera to reveal her true nature on her own.

"Susan, get your bow. Lucy, get your dagger. Edmund... take a quick rest. We have a hag to destroy."

They stared at me for a few moments before tackling me anew.


	10. Chapter 9 The End

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the story, nor the characters, nor the land... I own nothing, really...**_

**Authoresses Note: Allllll righty! So it has been weeks and WEEKS but I finally got this finished. I'm not sure if I have any reader's left, but if there are, you all get a cookie and a donut and a bowl of ice cream! Check out my profile for information on upcoming stories. Thanks again for being so patient! :D **

_What Have I Done_

_Chapter 9 - The End _

Darkness.

Darkness and pain were the first two things I noticed as I began to regain conciousness.

I tried shifting my arm and found that that was not the source of pain. After I tried to sit up, I found it was coming from my head, a shaft of pain driving through my head like a dagger, and I struggled to keep from yelping.

"Easy now, Peter."

A voice. A familiar voice.

I forced my eyes open, only now realizing the darkness was from my eyes being closed, and settled my blurry gaze on my younger brother's concerned face.

Edmund stood close by the bed, a faint smile touching his face.

"How do you feel?" he asked, softly.

"As if I've been trampled by a horse. And you?" I croaked.

"Relieved. You were rather close to the edge there for a while."

"I was? How long have I been unconcious?" I rasped, lying back into the pillows.

"Oh..." He glanced out the window. "Exactly two days now."

I grunted in reply and sighed.

"I'm sorry things were so..."

"Now stop right there."

I blinked at Edmund's abrupt, commanding voice.

"The only fault you had in any of this was that you didn't look closely enough at the signs. The rest was all that hag's doing."

"So she was a hag? I cannot remember much about it."

He paused, thoughtful, eyeing me closely.

"Rest first, brother. You are still very weak from all that happened. And I am quite sure Susan and Lucy will like to hear that you are not going to slip away from us. Rest. And when you wake up, _then_ we will explain everything."

I felt myself begin to object and then realized he was right. Really, what harm could more rest do, anyway?

I sighed and settled back deeper into the pillows, closing my eyes. I heard Edmund say "sleep well" and then remembered no more.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

I awoke again to a squeak. It wasn't a threatening squeak, but more of an excited one. I had heard that squeak, and it had woken me up too many times to count.

I opened one eye slightly to find Edmund holding back Lucy from pouncing on me.

I really should have kept my eyes closed, for as soon as Edmund saw that I was awake, he shrugged and released my youngest sister.

She landed heavily beside me. I gave a laugh that was only a bit less scratchy than it had been last time and smiled at her.

Her eyes were wide relief and unanswered questions. Both of us knew if I didn't say something soon she'd begin those questions until she ran out of breath.

I noticed Susan was standing beside Edmund, a relieved smile on her face.

"Hello," I said, weakly, offering them a grin of sorts.

"Oh, you're all right!" Lucy exclaimed, embracing me tightly.

She was too excited for me to push away or tell that I couldn't breath, so I returned the embrace as tightly as I could manage.

"Did you think I wouldn't be?" I smiled.

"For a while, we were not sure," Susan put in, walking around to the other side of the bed to sit close.

Silence filled the room for a few moments as I let the news settle on me.

When I finally grasped that I truly had been unconcious for two days I realized they were waiting for my next question.

"Was she a hag?"

"Yes. In full disguise," Edmund answered, leaning against my bed post. "We believe they might have been the band of Jadis' forces we heard about quite some time ago. There were many others. All of her guard, and even the horses they rode, were part of it. Each of them was dealt with swiftly, and we are closer to peace than before this happened."

A sense of relief washed over me.

It was finished.

I sighed and closed my eyes, sensing rather than seeing my siblings draw closer to me.

"Is there anything else I need to know?" I asked.

"No. Other than the fact we saved you from a painful death."

I opened my eyes and fought the urge to glare at Edmund. As if I didn't already know that.

"Well, yes, I believe I understood that. Anything _else_?"

Lucy cut Edmund off from saying anything else by replying, "When we came into the room, the hag had you in a strong hold, choking you, as I am sure you know. Susan let her arrow loose, and the hag dropped you. After that it was rather easy. Edmund finished the hag off, our guards were sent after the others and we got you in bed. It has only been to wait for your awakening since then. Everything is back to normal."

I smiled down at my youngest sister.

"It will be wonderful when I can get back on my feet again. But, if I know you three, you will not let me out of bed for at least three more days for recovery, am I correct?"

"As always, dear brother!" Edmund grinned.

I rolled my eyes at him, chuckling. "As long as you promise to visit three times a day."

They seemed offended at the prospect that I would accuse them of anything less.

"No less than five!" Susan exclaimed.

I grinned at each of them, feeling more content than I had in weeks. Things were truly back to normal.

There was a silence about the room, as we took in nothing but each other's presence. How long had it been since we had simply sat with each other? Much longer than I would have liked.

Suddenly, a look of amusement crossed Edmund's face.

"Well, at least there was one thing we learned from all of this," he said, slowly.

"What is that?" I asked.

"No girls are to be trusted. _Especially_... if they want to marry us."

Susan and Lucy feigned indignant and wounded expressions.

"Brother, I am deeply hurt!" Lucy exclaimed.

"Oh, all right, I suppose you two aren't _quite_ as bad," Edmund said dramatically.

Lucy picked up one of the pillows and looked at me. "May I?"

"Be my guest," I replied, waving a hand towards Edmund.

With a grin, Lucy began mercilessly beating Edmund with the pillow.

He shouted with laughter, attempting to escape the brutal attack.

Susan smiled and shook her head, coming closer to sit near to me.

"Are you really feeling all right?" she asked in an undertone so as to not disturb our siblings' fun.

I cast her a smile and took her hand. "I feel better than I have in ages."

She smiled a relieved smile and kissed the top of my head. "Good."

Quite suddenly, a pillow smacked me soundly in the face, producing a yelp from my throat.

I heard Edmund's barking laugh at the same moment I heard Susan give a yelp of her own.

Lucy was smirking far too**)** mischievously to be trusted, and Edmund was nearly on the floor from laughing so hard.

Oh, yes. Things were quite back to normal. Despite what I had done.


End file.
